Lost In Beauty-

Thursday, February 10, 2005

HeLLuZ!! Firstly, i wanna wish all my chinese fwenz a very 'GoNg Xi Fa Cai'!!! Happy Rooster New Year to all of u!!

Niwaes, i'm in my room now, doin nothing, juz exploring this laptop over and over again until i'm getting sick and tired of it heh heh.. I've also juz finished singing my lungs out. Dunno wat's wif me today. I thought of revising for my upcoming VB.net UT3 which happens to be on next Tuesday, when sch reopens again (SUX), but i've no mood to revise anything now.. Haiz.. Actuali, i haven't done very well in sch for this 2nd semester. Honestly saying, i'm nervous to see my results after this semester ends, and i'm even more nervous to show it to my parents- especially my MUM. I've been getting toooo many Cs. I don't think my mum wil like wat she wil see in my result slip. Let's pray dat she wil not slaughter me like a sheep.

Recap on yesterday, Wednesday- 'Chinese New Year':
Yesterday my family, cuzz, aunts and i went to the East Coast Park for a small picnic. Actuali it was a last min plan from one of my aunt. If not, i would be spendin the whole day gluing my eyes in front of the TV. But it's better for me to get a life outside- at least for one day, rite?? Niwaes my cuzz and i rented and rode the rollerblades there, and it was quite disasterous! I almost kept on fallin whenever i hit the SMALL rocks (duh), humps, pavement cracks and slopes. I was so tired shoutin for my dear life!! My cuzz was even worse than me. She fell and hit a signboard, infront of a shop some more.. So paiseh! Talkin bout paiseh, there was this one time when i happily rode a bicycle (after givin up on rollerblade) when suddenly this one guy (a 'mat' some more) actuali pointed out dat i forgot to pull up the bicycle stand, and i better did it ASAP before i fell down. I really felt like a klutz! So paiseh! So i sheepishly said 'thank u', and shockingly without even thinkin, i said 'sorry' too. Then I came to my senses and asked myself, "I SAID SORRY FOR WAT???". I felt so damn stupid, and hope dat he didn't even heard dat i said 'sorry'. Before i embarrased myself even more, i quickly rode away, out of his sight, and never to come back again!!!

Nowadays the weather is very hot- like in a desert!! Everywhere i go, i'll be perspiring like a pig- or even worse than dat! Worse still, my skin is so expose to the sun, and i hate it!! I'm worried dat my skin wil get darker again.. Haiz.. I've been trying very hard (for 4 years!!!) to have fair skin. But, with the weather like this, it's no use to even think bout having fair skin. Dunno if i should give up or not. Most of my fwenz and cuzz say dat i'm not dark. But, as i'm so stupid, i don really believe them, and i think dat they juz want to cool me down.. I know it's kinda stupid of me to worry bout this small matter.. But, it's all because of my past dat keeps haunting me. I used to be tease by some jerks and other peeps juz because of my very dark skin.. and i used to be VERY sensitive bout it. I don want dat to happen again. That's why i want to have fair skin really bad.. But now.. forget it.. **SiGhiNg aLL tHe WaY......**

the beauty exposed ;