Lost In Beauty-

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Yoz.. I'm in the middle of VB.net lesson right now. As usual, it was boring.. Have to do alot of maths today. Headache! I used to love maths during my secondary sch years. But now, forget it! I don't even pay full attention in class. I'm so busy chattin with with my frenz on the msn, and listening to the radio on-line, heh heh. No doubt i'll get a D for today's lesson.

Nowadays i'm quite busy. I volunteer to do alot of activities, just for the sake of getting CE points. I've to collect 40 CE points before i graduate. If not, cannot graduate lehz! Haiz.. So troublesome.. I'll be helping out in the RP open house for the secondary sch students which will be held on 17, 18 and 19 of February. My classmates and i are taking the afternoon shift- 2.30 to 6.30 pm, all for that 3 days!! Must be very tiring *Phew*.. My CCA will also be performing for the open house.. Only 2 weeks away to prepare for the performance. Wah laoz.. i'm not even ready yet. Got many songs to polish up. Niwaes, talking bout CCA, i've join another CCA too - Chorale.republic heh heh.. It's the same as choir. I know joining choir can be very boring. But if you appreciate music, you will love it, LIKE ME!! Finally, i'm getting a life!! I need to get a life as i still hate my sch to the max. So, i think that if i take part in so many activities, i'll stop wastin my time complaining about my stupid sch.

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, January 24, 2005

Okay, it's Monday again.. Like, how many times did i tell u i hate mondays? Err *thinking*.. I lost count anyway. Today's module was Culture and Aesthestic. Today's lesson was quite difficult- something about 'Youth Culture' and yada yada *whatever*.. I'd been cracking my brain- from morning til mid-afternoon juz now, trying to understand what my team mates and I had to do for our presentations in the 3rd meeting. Worse still, i haven't even had my lunch yet- for the sake of cracking my brain until it burst. Finally, you wanna know what?? I didn't even contribute anything!!!! Coz by the time I finished searching for good resources, all the presentation slide was already completed!! I'm such a klutz! Gonna hit my head on the wall right now!!!!! I feel so guilty to the max man.. Gonna run away and hide under my duvet 4eva- that is, if I ever had a duvet at home. Duh.

Recap on my last weekend:
Last Friday was 'Hari Raya Haji'.. And, for the first time in my entire life, i was actually doing nothing during this 'Hari Raya'. During the previous years of 'Hari Raya Haji', my family and i usually went to the mosque to watch some men or guys or whoever slaughter the sheep. But this year, there were no (or maybe not enough) sheep to be delivered to most of the mosque here. Whatever the reason was, i still dunno until now (sori, i didn't watch or read the news, heh heh). So, last Friday, i had been doing nothing (except went to the hospital to visit my grandmother, and went to JP). I even broke a record- Slept 3 times in one shot. Great, isn't it??

On Saturday, i went to 2 of my baby cousins' birthday parties. One was from my father's family side, and the other was from my mother's. On that day, i ate too much that i couldn't even sit or stand up straight at the end of the day! Worse still, in the next morning, i got a terrible diarrhea. I went in and out of the toilet countless of times.. So completely exhausting *PhEw*..

Then on Sunday (yesterday), all i did was gluing my eyes in front of the TV, almost 24/7, until 'kena' scolded by my mother heh heh.. "Melonggok depan TV ajer!!"- that's what she said. Duh. Can't help it! There were so many interesting programmes to watch! She also scolded me for not doing the housework yada yada blah blah.. I was quite fed up that i stop watching the TV and went straight to my room and wondered if i should go out window shopping for a while before i really went nuts staying at home all day. At last, i decided to go to JP by myself. Nothing much to see in JP anyway. I've been there for zillion of times already that i can even go there blind-folded. Yeah, as if!

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, January 17, 2005

Yoz.. Firstly, i want to congratulate the S'pore soccer team for winning the 'Tiger Cup' yesterday after so many years. That was very amazing! Before the 'Tiger Cup' match, i thought that S'pore would never make it, even in the semi-finals. But, i was VERY wrong lehz heh heh.. May they continue to improve and win in whatever match they will compete in. Ole~~ ole, ole ole!!!

Another new week for me, but nothing changes.. haiz.. You never know how much i hate Mondays! Niwaes, i'm in sch now, doin nothing. It's break time, and 3 of my team mates have already gone to coffee bean for lunch. The problem is, i don't really know what to do for our presentation for the third meeting later. I'm stuck. That's the problem with me. Why can't i just do my own thinking for once and stop depending on others?? Sometimes i dunno wat's wrong with me! Is it really hard for me to speak out in class?? What am i so afraid of? Can't i just talk properly instead of stammering or.. er.. whatever???? I hate presentations!! Maybe by the end of my third year in RP, i'll be bored to death. Suit myself.

Now, what can i do with my face?? I have been using a whitening facial product- a Malaysian brand- and all it had done to my face is peeling off the skins. Nowadays, it looks like as if i had a cracked face- like what my brother had said. Sigh.. I had been using so many whitening facial products until i lost count, but my skin is still quite dark. Sucks isn't it?? Well, i'm still grateful, though, for having skin all over my body. Just imagine if we don't even have any skin.. we may look so pathetic (Err.. what am i blabbering about??). Niwaes, i juz need to get use to having cracked- face for a while. Like what my mother said, 'Hodoh-hodohkanlah muka dulu, biar jadi cantik kemudian...' Translation in english: 'Make ur face ugly first, for it will become pretty later'. Errr.. whatever that suppose to mean *roll eyes*... Wonder if i'm goin to have fair skin one day....?????

the beauty exposed ;

Friday, January 14, 2005

Hello, I'm BaCk!! I've just recover from a slight fever. I was sick and didn't come to school for 2 days heh heh.. Actually it's better for me to take 3 days MC instead of 2 so that i would have a long weekend hoho... But, as i am a good student (ehem, as if!), i think it's better for me to at least sacrifice another one more day being retarded in school before the weekend. Now, i have a blocked nose, which is already bad enough. I have to breath in and out through my mouth (just now in the morning, i had to brush my teeth so hard until it bled so that i won't have bad breath **Bleagh!**- plus, eat so many peppermint sweets- sugar free (if not, i would have diabetes by now)), and talk like a duck. Maybe duck talk even better than me.

the beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Finally, i can update my blog again! For the past few days, there's a problem with my laptop- the hard disk corrupted or something. But i had sent it for service, and it amazes me that it did not take a long time to change the hard disk!! But unfortunately, all the important files that i had save in this laptop were all gone! Haiya.. I need to download and save everything again from the start.. Waste my time only!

HaiZ...At one moment, i'm okay, at the next moment, i'm moody. It's funny to see that your mood can change over a short period of time sometimes. That's what happen to me now. Dunno whether to blame it on the UT or myself. OKOK, it's my fault alright, for not studying for my Basic Science UT. I dunno what's wrong with me after entering RP. In the past of my secondary school years, i was not that lazy. Niwaes, what the heck.. Don wanna care bout that Basic Sci UT anymore. What's the use?? I can't even change my course to BIO-MEDICAL SCIENCE. Stupid School.

And worse still, i have a sore throat. SUX. I dunno if i had slept with my mouth wide open yesterday. *Bleagh* Don't even want to imagine it. And i'm freezing to death under this air-con, plus i don't even pay attention in class. PLUS plus that i'm not feeling very well today. What's with me today????

the beauty exposed ;

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Hello buddies! The sky is quite bright now, despite that it rains just now in the morning.. I came late to school today- 9 o'clock. Forgot to switch on the alarm clock yesterday heh heh.. Today's module is Basic science, thank god! Out of the 5 module that i have to take in school, i can only tolerate this science module. I really love science. Too bad i can't change my course to biomedical science *BoO hOo*! I also realise that it is quite difficult to change school. Forget it! So many things to settle, and i have to take the risk to pay the mendaki loans and reapply the subsidize scheme again. What the hell! And if i want to transfer to Ngee Ann, i have to do all this stupid things by this Friday!! So, FORGET IT!

Haiz.. It seems like i have to continue to suffer in this school for another 2 years. There's nothing i can do about it.. Just pray that one day i can finally adapt in this Retarded Poly. If not, screw me. Tomorrow got Cognitive and problem solving UT. I don't even feel like studying!!

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, January 03, 2005

Helo.. So long haven't update my blog.. I don't really play the internet that often during holidays. Very expensive lehz.. I don't even use broadbands.

Niwaes, I want to wish all of you a very "Happy New Year". Well, i don't know if this year would be a happy year for me. Maybe yes (fat chance), maybe not (80% can be). My friend said that i have to make an effort to change my life to the better if i ever want this 2005 to be a happy year for me. But i don't even have the mood to make an effort. Don't know why lehz. Screw me.

Reflections on 2004- Haiz.. A very bad and emotional year for me. School sucks, bad grades, can't change my course and so on.. I cry alot too- sometimes even without reasons. Don't know what's wrong with me lehz. During the year of 2003, i laughed alot; 2004- I cried alot. Maybe this year i'll go nuts more often. Duh. Can't blame anyone but myself. I'm not even surprise if i ever end up in an asylum.

2004 was also a grief year, after the killer waves recently strike on some various Asian countries. I was very sad to hear that thousands of people died. Whenever i watched the channel news asia and saw many of the dead bodies and people crying here and there for their love ones, i almost feel like crying too. I'm so grateful that nothing had happened here in Singapore. Haiz.. I really sympathize those who have to go through all this. Hope that things will finally turn alright for them again..

Expectations for 2005- Nothing. I never expect to be very happy this year because, i'm still in RP (come on, you expect me to be happy in RP, with the dreadful PBL system and all!!?? You must be kiddin' me! If i ever say that "I LOVE RP", it means that i'm such a BIG FAT liar, pants on fire). But all i want this year is to be a very grateful person, even though i don't like some things in my life. Being grateful is a blessing. Because from what i learn is that, if you're not grateful for what you have now, and if all of that is taken away from you one day, you will regret it. So be grateful for once in a while. Yaya, i also need to be grateful that even though i hate my school to the max (well, more than hate), i still have an education.

Well, talking bout school, i'm back to school again. What the heck. I was having a hard time moving my feet to go to school just now. Just by looking at the building of my school can make me nauseous. More worse still, today's lesson is 'Entreprise Skills'. Now, what i need to do is to just wait until this last semester ends and there will be holidays of 6 weeks again! Honestly saying, i rather be bored at home. I thought of changing school. But i don't think my mother will agree with that. Already waste $997 for one year in RP. Screw me for not wanting to get out off this school earlier. Haiz.. I really don't know what to do now.. Can somebody out there help me to find a way out of this mess PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!

the beauty exposed ;